Here are some tips that can help you be safe in a domestic violence situation:

Preventing the Situation

  • Have a safety plan -- Know what you're going to do if you think a situation is going to come up. Some things you should think about are: 1) an escape route that you have practiced using 2) having a cell phone with you 3) who you can call for help 
  • Have a code word -- You can use this code word when you need help.
  • Know where you'll go -- Have an idea ahead of time of a place that you can go if you need to get away quickly.

Be Safe During the Situation

  • Stay in rooms that have exits
  • Stay out of rooms that have objects that can be used as weapons
  • Use your code word with a friend so they can call the police for you
  • Sometimes trying to leave the situation will make the abuser more angry, so use your instincts to decide when it's best to leave
  • Try to get to a public place
  • Use your voiceto bring attention to a situation that's dangerous.
  • Yelling "Fire!" will attract more attention than yelling "help!"

What to do After the Situation

  • Tell an adult you trust right away
  • Don't stay silent
  • Make a plan to avoid the situation from repeating itself
  • Have a list in your head of places that you can call for help

 It's difficult to know when someone is being abused, but it's better to be safe than sorry. The following symptoms are signs of domestic violence or abuse.

  • Misses school a lot
  • Usually has injuries that are caused by "accidents"
  • Gets harrassing phone calls
  • Talks about being scared of whoever is abusing them
  • Changes in personality
  • Stops hanging out with friends
  • Doesn't interact as much with family
  • Has low self-esteem or depression more than usual

Answering these questions can help you decide if a situation is abusive or violent. If you answer yes to most of them, then you should report the situation to an adult that you trust or the Bremerton Police Department:

  • Has the person ever been physically violent?
  • Do you feel like you did something wrong but you don't know what it is?
  • Have you ever felt scared of the person?
  • Do you feel like there's nowhere to go for help?
  • Do you feel alone?
  • Have you lost a lot of your friends?
  • Has your relationship with your family changed for the worse?
  • Do you feel like you don't have positive or negative emotions like you used to?
  • Do you feel like no one would believe you if you told them your situation?

Source: Kitsap County Domestic Violence Task Force and the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence 

Tips for Talking with Friends

Talking with your friends who you think might have been abused is a hard thing to do. Here are some tips for talking with victims of domestic violence that will help them understand that you're there for them.

  1. Approach them in a way that tells them that you are just there to listen and not give advice.
  2. Phrases you can use to help are: "It's not your fault," "I'm here for whatever you need," "You're not alone," and "I will support whatever you choose to do."
  3. Be ready to provide information, rather than advice. Have a list of phone numbers for them to call and safe places they might be able to go in case of a dangerous situation.
  4. Be understanding. Sometimes the most dangerous time for someone in a domestic violence situation is when they try to get away from it. If someone doesn't want to leave, support them in their decision and learn to be OK with that.

Source: Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence's Media Guide

These facts will give you an idea of how important it is that more people take a stand against domestic violence.

  • Approximately 25 percent of teens in Washington reported experiencing dating violence in their relationships
  • In a survey of people in Washington and Idaho, 44 percent of respondents reported experiencing partner violence at some point in their lifetime
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States. That's more than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined.
  • One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the U.S.
  • About 1 out of 4 women are likely to be abused by a partner in their lifetime
  • Many abusive or violent partners learned abusive or violent behavior when they were growing up
  • 40 percent to 60 percent of men who abuse women also abuse children
  • Lack of financial resources is the main reason given for why people choose to say with abusive partners

Sources: Clark County Prosecuting Attorney's Website, Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Caring Unlimited, Genesis Center

The Civic Engagement Team at Mountain View Middle School has met with a group of AmeriCorps members for the past two months to create a community service project. This Website is our community service project. It will hopefully help people in Bremerton find information that will help them if they are involved in domestic violence and abuse situations.

Over the past two months, we saw the huge issue with domestic violence not just in our own city, but many others. To let more members of the community -- a community can be as small as a school or as large as the world! -- know that domestic violence and abuse can be stopped if we work together. Our group saw that domestic violence is a major issue that hasn't really been properly addressed, so we took the matter upon ourselves to let others know more about the problem of domestic violence and abuse in our community.